Sunday, August 31, 2008

August Funnies (Part 2)

August 15, 2008

Most days I'd rather gargle broken glass and razor blades in an isopropyl alcohol solution than talk on the phone.

FISH Philosophy?

Fuck it, shit happens?

No, the Japanese don't go for stuff that we take for granted. Ever seen a Japanese person eat a cake with a buttprint? Me either.

They're weird over there.

What's pav though?

I'm thinking I'll ask some of my Indian co-workers if they know where to get it, as long as "pav" doesn't translate into "dog dick" or something.

Alan made the mistake once of jokingly asking me for scat pron.

That was amusing. :-D

(About Heath Ledger dying)
Here's hoping Jim Carrey doesn't make a movie about buttsecks and start eating pills within the next 3 years.

August 20, 2008

I was talking to a friend a week or so ago and told them that I took up running. She said "Oh? That's good. You'll feel better. Didn't you feel better afterward?"

I looked at her and said "No, I thought I was going to die."

Her husband laughed and laughed. I like him.

I just found a Canadian dime in the community coffee fund. At first, I was kinda upset that it wasn't American. What a cheapskate! Then I realized that no, that Canadian dime is worth more than its American counterpart. Then I got happy because of the economy and inflation and how NOW AMERICA JR. IS A RICHER COUNTRY THAN US.

Supid ForEx.

August 21, 2008

I just had this mental image of you holding a cat up in the sun and squeezing liquid out of its ass, kinda like Bear Grylls in that episode where he's in Africa and squeezes the water out of the elephant turd.

Baltimore: We put the "HARM" in "CHARM CITY"

Me and Max and Bob started comparing our work systems. It seems like our companies like to buy Ferraris when what they need is a first generation Humvee. Sure, the Ferrari will go super fast and looks awesome, but it costs a shit ton of money to buy and keep, and you can't really go 300 mph on most roads you drive on because a.) they're not designed for fast driving and b.) there's cops around every corner waiting to fuck your day up (in our case, incompetent people who can't handle driving a Buick much less a precision sports car).

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