Thursday, September 25, 2008

September Funnies (Part 3)

September 24, 2008

(About 80's fashion coming back in style)
The first kid I see dressed like Crockett or Tubbs is getting punched right in the dick.

My friend Matt: So, my GF's mom just had knee replacement done. I want to send her a thoughtful and uplifting card/flowers/something ... what do I send that says "thinking of you" without saying "kissing up like all get out"?
Me: Make one with a picture of an operating room table on the front and have it say "From the deep blue sea to the clear blue sky" and on the inside have it say "Boy are we glad you didn't die! Love Matt and GF"

I want to see Dick Butkus and Mike Ditka in a fistfight.

I'll bet it would be akin to dropping a hydrogen bomb into a vat of awesome.

lolol NOW I know who she (Gov. Ruth Ann Minner of Delaware) looks like...

Large Marge from the Pee-Wee Herman movie.

Oh lawds I almost evacuated my bowels at my desk.

Man I so wish they had a Sonny's Bar-B-Q here. Nothing like walking into a barbecue place that has a big iron wagon wheel hanging over the salad bar and being served sweet tea by a woman named "Lurlene" or "Bobbi Jo" who has an accent as thick as the barbecue sauce they serve.

Eating at any chain restaurant in NYC or Chicago (excluding the original UNO's in Chicago) should warrant a kick in the dick. Like they should have some guy, no they should have Ray Guy at the door of every Applebee's in NYC that administers a booming kick to the crotch of anyone that walks through the door (excluding staff and bums just using the bathroom).

I'm thinking that this would help the retired and out-of-work NFL kickers get money. If only they'd had this available for poor Donald Igwebuike...

September 25, 2008

I'll bet McCain's plane has it's left turn signal on the entire way.

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