BILLY MAYS (PART DEUX - THAT'S FRENCH FOR TWO)

HI FOLKS BILLY MAYS HERE AND I HAVE A REVOLUTIONARY NEW PRODUCT TO TELL YOU ABOUT - IT'S FUCKING RON MOTHERFUCKING PAUL! THAT'S RIGHT YOU SHIT-EATING HAMSTER-FUCKER, RON MOTHERFUCKING PAUL IS NEW BECAUSE WHAT'S OLD IS NEW, WHAT'S NEW IS OLD, AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER THAT'S WHY. FUCK YEAH RON PAUL, YOU FESTERING POT OF HIPPOPOTAMUS DIARRHEA. YOU KNOW YOU FUCKING WANT TO JACK THE FUCK OFF WHEN YOU SEE RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT" SIGNS POSTED ALONG THE HIGHWAYS EVEN THOUGH THE ELECTION HAS BEEN OVER FOR ALMOST 3 FUCKING MONTHS. THAT'S RIGHT - THREE MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS YOU SON OF A UKRANIAN PROSTITUTE! CALL RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, AND WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR ORDER - THAT'S RIGHT DOUBLE YOUR GOD DAMNED ORDER FOR YOU AND YOUR WART INFESTED GAPING ANUS! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

BILLY MAYS (THE ORIGINAL)

HI FOLKS BILLY MAYS HERE. I'M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PRODUCT THAT WILL CLEAN YOUR FUCKING BATHROOM SO GODDAMNED GOOD THAT YOU'LL SHIT YOUR FUCKING PANTS SO FUCKING HARD THEY'LL HAVE TO CALL THE FUCKING PARAMEDICS. THAT'S OK BECAUSE YOU'LL BE SHITTING YOUR FUCKING PANTS IN A BATHROOM, WHICH IS JUST HOW WE FUCKING TESTED THIS NEW AMAZING FUCKING PRODUCT YOU FUCKING HERPES INFESTED CUMDUMPSTER. IF YOU CALL RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, WE'LL QUADRUPLE YOUR FUCKING ORDER AND SEND YOU A FILIPINO MAIL ORDER BRIDE. THAT'S RIGHT YOU ANAL INVADING COCKSUCKER FOUR FUCKING TIMES YOUR ORDER AND SOME PINOY SNATCH FOR FUCKING FREE. SO GET OFF YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS AND CALL RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER.